I just watched “Taken,” with Liam Neeson, and I just have to say, that movie is BADASS. Liam Neeson makes Jason Bourne look like a dandelion sniffing pansy. I feel like if the character from “Taken” were put in any other movie, he would be able to overcome the problem almost immediately.
For instance:
Oh no! There’s snakes on this plane! Oh wait, Liam Neeson just wrestled every single one of them into submission taught them how to be productive members of society. Now they're all Burger King employees.
Oh no! The Titanic’s sinking! Oh wait, Liam Neeson just jumped into the water and fixed the boat singlehandedly, and then kicked the glacier’s ass.
Oh no! There’s something about Mary! Oh wait, no there’s not. Liam Neeson murdered her.
You get the idea. But this movie made me really scared to get a part time job. There is one part where a guy serving champagne sees Liam Neeson downstairs, and Liam Neeson kills him without question. He must have killed about 100 innocent people just going about their day, not really doing anything wrong. I bet the champagne guy was just a broke college student trying to earn a little extra dough. What if a pizza guy had walked in? Let’s just say I think I would get a very bad tip.
This movie also made me think: I would make the worst secret agent ever. First of all, I can’t fight people, but more importantly, I think I would just give up about halfway through and go get some pizza. And unlike Liam Neeson, I wouldn’t murder the pizza guy.
Before I finish, I would like to point out that Liam Neeson is just naturally an extremely badass name. Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson.
LIAM NEESONNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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